Exactly, eighty-four days ago I started 100 Days To Brave by Annie F. Downs, a devotional giftedto me by an incredibly sweet friend. I know it's been eighty-four days because each day is numbered. which is super nifty, and each day has been so so good. This blog post comes from day fifty-seven in the devotional. It's one of the many days I find myself going back to time and time again. rereading the phrases I highlighted and underlined, looking up the passages of scripture Annie references and the ones I scribbled into the margins myself.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (ESV)
"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
Man, sometimes I read this verse and I'm like, "Yes Jesus! Everything is temporary and better things are coming." Other days I read this verse and it hurts, it hurts because, Jesus this pain that I'm going through is so much. How can I focus on the things of eternity when I'm drowning. I can barely focus on breathing, let alone on eternity. Focusing in eternity is difficult and sometimes it feels like some sort of impossible mandate that I'm supposed to fulfill in order to be a good Christian. It's not a punishment though, it's something God asks of us because He loves us. Focusing on eternity isn't a punishment, it's another way God gives us hope. Is it difficult? Yeah it is, because life is difficult. Life is insanely difficult and messy. That's why God wants us to focus on eternity, life may be painful and messy, but eternity. Man, eternity is what we're working for. Eternity is the thing that waits for us at the finish line.
The most difficult part of focusing onto eternity is simply holding on. Holding on to faith, to God, to joy, to hope, to the knowledge that there's even an ending coming. Depression, abuse, illness, finances, jobs, kids, relationships, school, politics, strife, and just daily life can be a lot to handle. It can be overwhelming. I get it. I've been there. I frequently find myself still there. Sometimes it's easier to give up, to just let go. Cancer, that's really really big. Depression is big. Finances are big. The chaos of every day life is big. Keeping your tiny humans alive is huge! It is all big, it's bigger than us. You know what it's not though? It is not bigger than God. It will never be bigger than God. Even when hoping that you will ever get it together or overcome or be healed seems foolish. God has got you. Friend, God has got you. You just have to hold on.
There is no answer to when you're supposed to let go, because I don't believe that we are ever supposed to let go. Not of God. Some days it will be easier to hold on than others. Some days will feel like skipping through a field holding hands with Jesus and some days you are going to be a sobbing wreck clinging to your Father as tightly as you're capable of. Friend, whatever you are going through, whatever you are facing, hold on. I promise you this, hold on to God and he will hold on to you and he will never let go of you. God's got this. God's got you. God will carry you to the eternity that He's asked you to focus on. He is the eternity that's waiting in front of you. Hold on sweet friend, hold on.
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