Passionate Pursuit

1 Timothy 4:7-8 "Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."      Right before New Years I read this verse during my morning time with Jesus and as soon as I read it, it cut deep. As soon as I read it I knew that God was going to start working on me and speaking to me about everything this verse contained, if I was willing to let him. I wrote the passage down on a note card and tucked it into my Bible in a place I knew I would see it everyday. I would read it every day, pray it every day, and work on really applying it to my life.      If you click on over to the "about" page on this blog you'll find that I am a self-declared "avid daydreamer." I am someone who has, my entire life, lived somewhere on the line between reality and fiction. If asked t...

" Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”  ―  L.M. Montgomery      Friendship is integral to our lives, I would even say to our survival. We were created to live in community, and from a very young age we are all searching for ours. We long to find where we fit in this world, and who we fit with. We are always on the search for our tribe, squad, circle, community, clique, chosen family, etc.; whatever you call it, you are looking for it. Those people that see and experience the real, authentic you, and in response to the real you they surround, support, and choose you and you do the same for them in return. Friendship is not easy; it takes work, it's messy because humans are messy, and sometimes friendship hurts, but real and true friendship is always worth it.      Some people are blessed enough to have their forever friend group from childhood, and that'...

     Exactly, eighty-four days ago I started 100 Days To Brave by Annie F. Downs, a devotional gifted to me by an incredibly sweet friend. I know it's been eighty-four days because each day is numbered. which is super nifty, and each day has been so so good. This blog post comes from day fifty-seven in the devotional. It's one of the many days I find myself going back to time and time again. rereading the phrases I highlighted and underlined, looking up the passages of scripture Annie references and the ones I scribbled into the margins myself. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (ESV) "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."       Man, sometimes I read this verse and I'm like, "Yes Jesus! Everything is temporary and bett...

             As a Christian female in my 20s I know my Meyers-Briggs personality type (INFP), my enneagram (4w3), my love languages, and I've probably taken a spiritual gifts test. I probably take all of these tests every few months just in case my results have changed. Why? Why are we so obsessed with personality types and love languages? They so important to us that we will literally plan and center out entire lives around these results (which is rather unhealthy, but that's a post for another time). Why do we put such an emphasis on these things and purpose to weave them into our lives as tightly as possible? I would suggest that it's because we want to be known. We have a deep desire to be truly by known; to be known by our friends, our family, our co-workers, and even by ourselves. These tests give us the ability to have snippets of ourselves and our personality written out in front of us. It's something tangible that we can present to other ...

     Fear...fear is something we all face at some time or another. It can be small or it can be crippling. Some may face it every once in a great while and others face it every day of their lives. Fear can be brought on by accidents, people, wars, disease, governments, media consumption, and by simply being alive. I would venture to say that fear is interwoven into the fall of man, therefore it is interwoven into being human. However, to say that it's interwoven into the human experience doesn't mean that it should be; I truly believe that when God created humanity he never intended for us to be fearful creatures, in fact time and time again the Bible tells us not to fear. This is something that we did to ourselves. The second Adam and Eve messed up and everything came crashing down around them fear entered the picture and it came to stay.       Fear doesn't affect and interact with everyone the same way. Some people merely brush up against it...

     Growing up in the church, especially with parents in ministry, you get a unique perspective of many things. The ins and out of how a church is run, all of the billions of different types of casseroles and the exact function of each one (funerals, surgeries, potlucks, etc.), how the body of Christ should look at it's best, and the downfall of what happens when we as Christians live according to our flesh. I've seen it all, I have experienced it all. I have even borne witness to the things that church does that it doesn't even realize it does, good and bad. The church is great at many things without even realizing it, and yet there are still areas where the church needs improvement.      One of the areas I've noticed, especially lately, where the church has room to grow is sin. Specifically how we categorize sin. We all have gotten up and said at one point or another that all sin is equal in God's eyes, but the reality is we don't actually believe th...

     I have been thinking about restarting this blog for a while now, I have several topics I want to discuss and cover. The purpose of this blog was never supposed be just Thailand and reentry and yet that's what it has become. It became a memorial to a small snippet of my life. I don't want it to stay that way, I want it to become active and engaging again. I want it to matter. While there are a list of things I want to write about; serious things, impertinent things, things that I believe in and I'm passionate about. However, for a small relaunch I wanted to do a little re-get to know me. I got these "Meet the Blogger" questions from  The Tully Tales , so let's go. What’s your Favorite Book?  This is a tough one because I am an avid reader and I read so many different genres and authors. I'm going to go with Hope Was Here by Joan Bauer. It has been one of my favorites since I was in elementary school and reread it every year. I also love Anne of Gree...

     It's been a while since I posted, and by a while I mean a couple months. Before I left Thailand I tweaked the format and description of my blog because I wanted it to be something I continued no matter where I was. Originally I created this blog to cover my time in Thailand, but after a few posts I knew it was something I wanted to continue beyond the borders of that land. I made outlines and timelines and bulleted lists of all of the things I could write about and when I would do so after my feet hit US soil. Reflections, stories, and new adventures I could take and would then share. I created a writing schedule, that I obviously have not followed, in hopes of having something worth saying. Then I got back. I have spent the last 3 months in reentry trying to come up with something to write about only to end up staring at the wall because I have felt like I have had nothing to say. I couldn't write about new things until I was done processing old things. I would spen...

     I wanted to take some time to thank everyone for the support, prayer, encouragement, cards, packages, and help they provided during my time in Thailand as well as give a bit of a summary of my time in Thailand. In case you missed it, which is probable since I forgot to update everyone, I have been back in the States for about a month now. In some ways I feel like I have been gone forever and in others it feels like I was preparing to leave for Thailand just yesterday and there's no way I can already have been there and gone. Yet, here I am. I had no idea that six months could fly by so quickly and still contain so much. Sometimes it's funny to think about the fact that for almost seven years before landing within its borders, being in Thailand was something I was dreaming about and now it's happened and been over. Life really is a wild ride.       The last couple of months before I headed out I began to question myself and panic. I started zero...

     I am constantly amazed at the times and places God's presence is noticeable and moving. Raised within the American church I have become used to God moving throughout church services, prayer meetings, worship nights, retreats, church camp, and conferences. None of these are bad things. I would hope to never enter into a church service or Bible study where God's presence isn't there. He should be moving throughout our times of worship, that's the purpose of set aside times of worship and services. To commune with God and fellowship with the body, so yeah, it makes sense for the Spirit to be moving. The problem is that I expect Jesus to be present in the situations and confines that I design and delegate, and then I'm always amazed and blown away when he does something, without consulting me, outside of the time I set aside. It astounds me and messes with me. In reality I should always be amazed and astounded and effected by a move of God, regardless of where it h...

     When talking to people here and back home I find myself being asked a variation of the same question repeatedly.      "What's your favorite thing about Thailand?"      The wording of the question may vary, but this is by far the question I am asked most frequently. I'm not sure what answer people are expecting when they ask me this. Maybe my favorite place I've visited in Thailand (Ko Samet), my favorite Thai food, mode of transportation, thing to do, etc. The list of what could be my favorite thing about Thailand is never ending. Upon being asked this question my mind usually blanks and I end up saying something rather generic like, "all of it," or "the people."  I have the privilege of being surrounded by amazing people here, it's a beautiful nation, the food is good, public transportation is pretty awesome, and I never run out of things to do. So, these answers are true. I do love the people here and I enjoy most of the aspects...

     Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! I want to again thank everyone for their love, prayer, support, and encouragement during this time. I am beyond blessed to have such an amazing support system behind me. I am thankful for each and every one of you and all that you have done for me, the things I'm aware of and the things I don't know about, thank you.      I can't believe that my time here is already half way over. In some ways it feels like I've been in Thailand for years and in others it feels like I stepped off the plan just yesterday. My time here so far as been amazing and in some ways indescribable. It has been difficult, emotional, stretching, incredible, and rewarding all at the same time. Being able to come here and serve has been a true blessing. I love being here and I love the people I get the opportunity to serve and work with. I am blessed with beautiful friendships with fellow expats as well as the Thai women I work with in the offic...

     Today I was giving a tour to a team that was visiting. We met and I told them about NL; how it was started and what we do and how we reach out to women. We're located in one Bangkok's many red light districts and usually after a tour the visiting team and I will walk to the offices. Often I hear teams express their shock at how out in the open and tolerated exploitation is in these areas. I watch their faces as we pass by various places and people in the middle of the afternoon on a week day. Things that should shock me, but I walk past them every day. Things that maybe they're being exposed to for the first time, but between my short time here and volunteering back in the states things I have known about or I have seen first hand multiple times. Does my heart really break the way it should? Have I become so used to the darkness around me that it doesn't phase me the way it used to?      I remember reading a blog post  from Love146  where th...

     Just in case you missed it. I finished my month of training with ISM and I am now at my internship. I am so thankful for my amazing month with ISM. I was able to learn so much and grow with an amazing group of people. The likelihood of falling flat on my face without the help of ISM would be much greater than it is now that I was able to spend that time in training and transition. However, I am so happy to finally be at Nightlight working and serving. I serve in the office as an office assistant, but within that role I am blessed to be able to do a number of different things. I do some data entry, work sales, clean the showroom, give tours, attend outreach, I have the opportunity to teach English once a week for some of the women, and I help with whatever else needs to be done.      Some times working in an office or cleaning a room can seem mundane and pointless, but when I truly stop and think about the reality of where I am and what I'm doing I fin...

     Hi Everyone! Can you believe I've been in Thailand almost three weeks? It's been an amazing time or learning and adjusting so far. I am enjoying the immersion in a totally new culture. Being able to experience a new language, food, and practices is stretching and challenging at time and other times it's exciting and fun; often it's a mixture of all four. Even though they don't have a whole lot with this post I'm throwing in random pictures just so you can see what I've been up to with your own eyes.     There are six of us going through a month of training at Impact School of Missions in preparation for various internships across South East Asia. We have classes and training up until the end of the month; in October we all officially move on to our internships! Our month at ISM consists of classes involving classes on the culture, language, effective ways to minister and serve, culture shock/stress, learning about ourselves, and many more. We explore ...